Cabinet Empty

Can anybody please help find a market for these goods?

For Immediate Sale
1. Open topped tour bus (ideal for hubristic Victory Parade or similar)
2. Four hour booking of Trafalgar Square /9booked months ago, now not required)
3. 2 tonnes of confetti (used once only)
4. 10,000 copies of CD recording of 'Jerusalem' sung by English cricket team (need to offload ASAP - make good coasters)
5. Autobiography book deal 'How Good Am I?' with top London publisher (no longer required)
6. 40,000 miniature Union Jack flags (pre-ordered, now no takers)
7. Box full of MBEs, OBEs and other miscellaneous gongs (Can't find anyone to put them on)
8. Trophy cabinet (empty, used for only 14 months & won't be needed again)
9. Smug, sel-satisfied smirk (recently wiped off)
10. Weekend for 2 at the exclusive 'Marcus Trescothick Private Retreat & Health Spa' (absolute seclusion guaranteed)

Everything must go!

All serious offers considered

Enquiries to;
Mr F Flintoff
England & Wales Cricket Board
Lords
London NW6 8QZ

Very funny wise guy! You made me laugh and I'm a pomme!

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